At the end of June I celebrated my 40th birthday but unfortunately, rather than feeling fabulous at 40, I was actually overcome by the feeling of being fat at 40!

Fast forward just over a fortnight to this week and we have now also just celebrated Ethan's first birthday, swiftly followed by Rebecca turning 13.

It shouldn't have been a time to shy away from having my photo taken with my beautiful children as they reached these memorable milestones, but the sad reality is that I now hate having pictures taken as they just serve to remind me of how big I have become.

Ethan's first birthday represented me weighing a whole stone more than I did just a week after he was born, and Rebecca's birthday cake with the number 13 on it symbolised not only our daughter entering her teenage years, but also me tipping the scales at almost 13 stone, a number I have never ever seen blinking back at me in a non pregnant state!

How do I feel? Ashamed at what I have become, embarrassed that nothing fits me anymore, upset that I can't bear to look at myself in the mirror and completely responsible for the fact that I have let myself expand to this size.

At the moment I am at home in the UK and I have 6 more weeks until I return to Doha. In some ways it is easy to put on weight living in Qatar due to the heat and resulting lack of opportunities for outdoor exercise. Here however I have no such excuse, so the fight to get rid of the flab starts now!

The aim - to lose at least a stone before heading back to Doha at the beginning of September (2.5 stone in total).

How will this be done? - Through eating more healthily and by exercising at least 5 days a week.

Feel free to follow my journey and see if I have the determination needed to succeed in my quest over the coming weeks....

Picture
Taken on Ethan's First birthday
Picture
Wish that number wasn't of significance with regards to my weight :(
 

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    Sam is married to Simon and has 4 children who take up a lot of her time. She is currently living outside the UK for the very first time, having  relocated to Qatar in the Middle East in August 2011 

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    July 2013

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